Feminism Uncategorized

Once Upon a Submissive…

August 7, 2018

Compliant, yielding, malleable, acquiescent, accommodating, amenable, tractable, manageable, unassertive, passive, obedient, biddable, dutiful, duteous, docile, ductile… it does not stop there… pliant, meek, timid, mild, patient, resigned, forbearing, subdued, humble, self-effacing, spiritless, deferential, obsequious, servile, slavish, self-abasing, spineless and there is more….
The other day I was called submissive and I quote “I think you would be submissive in a relationship, you would not be able to dictate what I do” I was SHOOK and mostly offended. I have thought this over in an attempt to figure out if I was over-thinking or overreacting however over the years I have learnt to trust my gut feelings because more often than not they are correct.
Looking at those definitions of submissive, the only thing I can relate to is patient… patient, I am definitely that.
One could argue that the person said ‘I think’, they are not sure. That there is something about me, that made them think that. That is why I took the time to think this over. I took a moment and looked at myself. Did this person just put up a mirror and showed me my true reflection or they had misinterpreted the person I had shown them or they had fit me into their conscious or deeply entrenched unconscious patriarchal box that suits their pattern of relating to the world, where submissiveness suits them best. I am going with the latter.
To me submissive means you do not have a voice. You do not think that your thoughts and opinions are worthy enough to voiced and appreciated. That you are not strong enough to stand up for what you believe in, to speak against the things you think are wrong, the things that annoy you and make you angry.
That you can not argue against the thoughts and opinions of the male that believes his dominant and can do as he pleases because that is what years of patriarchal thought have taught him. “You would be submissive from a religious point of view” said in way that was supposed to ease my mind because I’m Christian and I should be okay with that. NO, wrong girl, I question the things written in the Bible. I also don’t like it when people interpret the Bible to suit their needs, to defend a point of view that frankly is offensive especially when the person is very far removed from your perception of them.
I am Patient, I am Kind, I am Nice, I am Giving, I am Emphatic, I am Brave, I am Strong, I am Smart, I am Funny, I have a Mind of My Own, I am Opinionated, I am a Joy, I wear my heart on my sleeves, I give Warm Hugs, I am Fabulous!
These are all the characteristics that make me vulnerable to people taking advantage of me, walking all over me because the world is cruel, because people are cruel.
However these things that make me, me, should not under any circumstances be confused for weak and submissive nor should they be used as a tool against me. The moment the word submissive was used, I knew that, that was my cue to walk away because I realized the things that make me, me, are going to be used against me.
My spirit is far too strong to not be heard, I would be broken, sad and depressed (not used lightly) if my voice stayed locked up and if someone tried to use their perceived dominance to lock it up. If you are looking for submissive, wrong girl. I thrive in a place where both voices are heard, mutual respect and understanding.
These things that make me, me, make me amazing and fabulous, I will never change them just so I feel a little less vulnerable, NO. I LOVE who I am.
‘That Malawian Girl’
#Worthy #Strong #Brave #Feminism

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